I’m starting another initiate’s initiation, and I’m always trying to write down what I do and say so that I can do and say it better the next time—as well as reflect on what I did and what I said to see how I’ve changed and evolved over time. Or, even better, to see what things come back around. I call this grimoire
This has been amazing and keeps me returning to myself in my own self-reflection. in a process of continual rebirth and refine
I’m walking this couple through selecting rope. This time I put emphasis on the actual selection of the rope as a ritual. I asked them to get honest and ask themselves:
- What do you plan to do with this rope?
- What intentions would you like to set with the rope?
- What headspace would you like to go into?
- What roles will you take?
- What part of your will becomes suffused into this?
- And what message would you like to send down the rope for your partner to receive?
As I’m asking these questions, I realize—this is an initiation.
I love magic, fantasy, and imagination, and they play such a heavy part in my craft. As I guide this process, I’m intimately aware of how important and powerful myth and mythology are. The beginning, the origin, the source—the seed or initiating principle of development—all of that holds weight. Myth is not just story; it’s a conceptual tool. It’s the foundation of a culture, a philosophical and cosmological explanation for how TF we are.
This initiation is a template. And within it lives the pattern of the culture I’m weaving: the logic, the assumptions, the formation of values. The language we use, the symbols and icons we adopt—all of it shapes the unconscious experience where all this work is aimed at.
From this, a ideology is born.
What people often don’t realize is: your mythology is your ideology.
And by ideology, I mean the presentation of culture—the lived and embodied experience. The intellectual, emotional, spiritual actions that emerge from the the preconscious structure that gives rise to conscious identity.****
The process moves from the preconscious (mythoform) to the conscious (mythology) to the self consciousness(ideology). This isn’t hierarchical nor unidirectional
Every culture has a direction: why we see the world the way we do.
Every culture has momentum: why we think, and eventually act, the way we do.
So, as I speak about this initiation, I start seeing it as a blueprint. A quiet yet powerful invocation to be present, to be intentional, to dissolve the barriers that stand between us and connection.
What we do when we select rope… we are weaving a spell that says: “This is my heart. This is my message. This is my love and my desire. This is my declaration that I wish to become one with you.”
That is so intimate—to move energy through you and into your partner to create something sacred !!!
So—I love cults. And before you start—everything’s a cult. Cult culture. Cult mentality. Cult vibes. Anything can be a cult. Some say all cults are bad, others want to debate the definition. But what fascinates me isn’t the fear—it’s the possibility. I love sects. I love schools, clans, guilds. I love doctrines. The structure, the symbolism, the shared belief—it all speaks to me. There is so much power in names. Now I’m in my head thinking, This is your Choosing, in a deep mysterious voice booming from on high.
I start walking them through color theory and number theory—talking to them about how each color corresponds with a unique frequency, specific intention, a mood, an emotional and spiritual state.
I tell them: As you shop, enter this quest with companionship, union, synchronicity, harmony, union and synergy. Let this knowledge be your guide.
Sometimes I really wonder why people listen to me. I can hear myself too and I sound insane—like, batshit insane. But is it insane if it works anyway?
So I send them on this quest—to align, invoke, and amplify the energy they wish to take on this journey.
Like, you see what I’m saying…
White – Purity, power, new beginnings, healing, peace, and enhanced psychic abilities. Amplifies other colors.
Black – Energetic protection, release, and clearing of negativity. Misunderstood, but deeply potent.
Blue – Peace, tranquility, spiritual openness, loyalty, and protection.
Brown – Grounding, mental connection, household harmony, and stability.
Silver – Balancing and neutralizing chaotic forces. Harmonizes subtle energies.
Green – Prosperity, abundance, healing, success, and growth. Heals envy and scarcity mindsets.
Orange – Vitality, motivation, drive, and clarity of purpose.
Pink – Heart-centered love, emotional vulnerability, compassion, and nurture.
Purple – Deep wisdom, spiritual insight, independence, and intuition.
Red – Passion, fertility, strength, boldness, raw life force.
Yellow – Joy, charisma, confidence, attraction, and energetic action.
I tell them to communicate—honestly, transparently. You are not a passenger. Your power is in the choosing. seize your power—this is your first test!!! dun dun dun
Okay, I’m really having fun—but I think it’s so important to have fun. So much of what I offer is fun. It’s healing, it’s erotic, it’s sensual. I see having fun as a shortcut to presence. being present
Now I’m back in my imagination. I see this scene playing out again—but you must take yarn, and spin it, and dye it, and dry it, and… each step, your layering, building intention and purpose like the longest mindfuck ever. By the time the rope touches you, you are so deeply aligned with your purpose and intention, the rope feels like an extension of your will.
I built this. I made this. I crafted this. I chose this. I poured myself into this
Okay, back from la-la land again.
I tell them to choose 5 hanks, 30ft long. I tell them this is their first tying session. Rope happens before fiber touches skin.
I had them choose cotton rope. I know many will probably disagree with me, but I think rope should be a progression. You start at copper and work your way to diamond. In my personal case—hemp!!
But I think the order of progression should be something like:
cotton → MFP → nylon (also other synthetics) → natural fiber (jute or HEMP!!!)
Anyway, I’m biased. Because there is a lot that goes unsaid with owning rope:
- care, maintenance, cleaning, training, conditioning
- when to retire rope
- how to re-twist, re-braid, whip it
- how to inspect rope
- what characteristics different materials hold
- what benefits and detriments those materials bring
And we’re only talking about the physical here.
When we bring this to a another level, you get into how the rope smells, what oils/minerals/herbs to use, what do those do, how to cleanse, how to ground. And the list goes on and on.
These are things I talk about—and I think they’re important. I try to only teach others who also find them also important. When someone’s just looking for technique or a basic rope class, I point them toward skilled instructors, structured courses, spaces dedicated to technical craft. Those places teach the mechanics far better than I can. My work is something else.
That is the foundation of everything I teach.
Yeah, it’s a rope class—but it’s a rope class like Hogwarts is a wand class. If that makes sense. (It does to me.)
I teach more than rope. I teach the art of deep intentional connection. I teach alignment. I teach presence. I teach intimacy—and not the silly kind of intimacy grounded in sex.
We once knew how to speak heart to heart, soul to sou. It was instinct. But, we’ve lost it. We’ve traded it for convenience, control, and the illusion of safety.
Now, we chase intimacy without risk. We crave pleasure without investment. We want closeness without vulnerability. We fear the possibility of disappointment. Yet yearn for belonging.
What I offer isn’t just rope. It’s a to return to self, a return to breath, a return to stillness, and a way out for that thing clawing at your chest that keeps pulling you back here.
I’m building and teaching a philosophy that helps people tap into that.
This is so much more than rope.
Which brings me to the next aspect of what I’ve learned, and what I’ve seen—and what I now warn people against as an interruption to this process:
Be patient.
Be patient toward yourself. Be patient with your progress. Be patient with each other. And, Love every step of the way.
When I say love, I mean get off. NUT. Orgasm. Make it as sexually, mentally, and spiritually satisfying. Every. Single. Time. Every. Single. Step. Truly edge yourself to your own becoming. Have you ever heard of orgasmic meditation essentially the idea is to gradually increase the size and place of pleasure zone in and around body and adopt new pleasurable sensations using the malleablity of your nervous system. With conscience expansion its possible to take this one step further into shapeshifting your emotions your experiences, and your perspective.
I write all the time about uncovering my own conditioning around sex, roles, goals, purpose, drive, mission, stance, values, self, love, and power.
We perpetuate a lot of bullshit that doesn’t serve you. Not only does it not serve you, it doesn’t serve anyone you wish to .
You are meant to have agency.
You are meant to have choice.
You are meant to live as one with each other—and with your environment.
Not in a fucking box. unconnected consciousness isolated time place and circumstance an abstraction for intellectual investigation
alienate, locked into lower order spatial temporal dimensions. That crazy.
You are meant to have friends, neighbors, parents, lovers, tribe, village, community.
Not this fucking scam.
You are meant to be here with us—in the cult. You are meant to derive your own conclusions, to merge your consciousness into a great collective and wash away the filth.
You should be taking time to have rituals and ceremonies and spectacle and epiphanies and orgasms, again and again.
You are meant to notice the contradictions in this all.