This is often the second conversation I have. Here, I tend to disagree with the majority on what safety in rope looks like. Fundamentally, I believe rope is not safe—and we should proceed from that basis onward.
I’ve heard it all: “If you do it right, take the right precautions, take the right classes, be extremely careful…” and on and on they go. But let me say this—rope is not safe. If you plan to tie anyone with a pulse—yourself included—something will go wrong eventually. And when it does, you may face injury. Engaging in rope means understanding its risks. If you don’t know the potential consequences, you can’t offer informed consent.
Rope is not safe. It is among the most dangerous forms of BDSM—classified as edge play. Statistically, serious injuries or deaths in BDSM most often involve rope.
You contend with a large body factor that can affect your health, safety, and mental and emotional state. Improper technique can compress nerves and blood vessels by simply applying rope incorrectly. If you don’t recognize problems early, small issues can compound and become serious. If concerns go unspoken, corrective action can’t occur.
- Nerve compression can happen nearly instantly—and recovery can take months, if it recovers at all.
- Blood clots from extended restriction can cause stroke, heart attack, or death.
- Broken bones, dislocation, choking hazards, breathing restriction, limb atrophy, immobilization, loss of dexterity, sudden onset paralysis—all are very real risks.
Rope has real risks.
Your Safety Is Everyone’s Responsibility
I’ve seen people incorrectly assume that the person tying bears all responsibility. Let me tell you—you are at your safest when everyone has an eye out for your safety.
Know your limits. Communicate calmly. Advocate. Know your body. Speak up. Learn. Practice. Repeat.
Everything I say here is about risk and harm reduction. Even when done “safely,” rope is never safe. Bodies vary. Minds, needs, and environments vary. You must identify, understand, and negotiate which risks you’re willing to take—and which you are not.
For Bottoms:
Your life is on the line.
Keep that in mind. You’re often rendered helpless, placed in prolonged and stressful positions. You’re brought to vulnerable places—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
This is where a lot of the deep work in the practice begins, but it’s also where deeper injury can occur.
Knowing what to look for allows you to advocate for yourself with confidence.
For Tops:
You hold someone’s life in your hands.
Once they are bound, they can’t act—you become a shepherd, a custodian, an architect, a warden of their submission.
You carry a heavy burden. Seek knowledge. Be present. Be aware. Be mindful.
You are embarking on a journey. Don’t assume you know it all.
I Teach Safety in Three Steps:
- Prevention
- Risk Management
- Incident Protocol
Safety isn’t about avoiding risk—it’s about reducing harm, managing risk, and knowing what to do in case of an emergency.
Prevention
Many issues can be avoided through prevention. It starts with having your fundamental needs taken care of.
Food:
You should eat within the last two hours before a rope scene—but not within one hour of starting. This gives you energy, time for digestion, and reduces risk of nausea or vomiting.
Hydration:
Being properly hydrated can prevent nausea and lightheadedness. It also aids skin recovery from rope marks.
I recommend at least 2 liters of water before a rope scene, but not within one hour of starting—you will pee on yourself.
Breathing:
Breath connects your mind with your body. Intentional breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system and helps you relax.
Use diaphragmatic breathing. Chest compression can reduce lung capacity, so breathing through your belly can have many beneficial effects.
Breath for the space you will be in, not just the space you are currently in.
Stretching:
This is often overlooked. Stretching prepares the body, breaks up static energy, and helps release or transform tension—physically and mentally.
We carry so much stress from daily life. Don’t jump into rope and immediately start stressing your body or mind. Stretching also offers a gentle way to introduce your presence and intention into a scene.
Communication:
This is the heart of the practice. Talk about boundaries, limits, desires, ambitions, beliefs, goals, and intentions.
This work is not done in a vacuum—it’s immersed in the entirety of you and deserves conversation.
Alignment is more important than vetting. Seek people whose purpose aligns with your own. This prevents burnout, confusion, and exhaustion. Only give what you have and are willing to give.
Negotiation Topics:
- Consent model
- Physical limitations
- Injury history
- Medication/conditions
- Sexual health
- Drug/alcohol use
- Insurance
- Support networks
- Conflict styles
- Aftercare needs
Read The Wheel of Consent—it’s amazing for having internal dialogue with yourself.
Risk Management
Understanding anatomy will be your greatest aid in harm reduction.
While not comprehensive, knowing the body helps identify cause and effect. Nerve compression and blood circulation are common concerns.
If the hands are tingling, this is often a sign of nerve compression. Learn the three major nerves (Radial, Ulnar, Median) that run from the neck through the arms. They vary per body, but are good general guidelines.
Be aware of:
- Bone protrusions (clavicle, sternum)
- Floating ribs (not connected—easily injured)
- Femoral and sciatic nerves (lower body)
Do’s and Don’ts
Don’ts:
- Don’t ever leave someone in rope
- Don’t tie too tight
- Don’t ignore discomfort or strain
- Don’t scene with people you don’t trust
- Don’t use gear you wouldn’t destroy in an emergency
- Don’t coerce someone into going beyond comfort
- Don’t approach hard limits
Do’s:
- Warm up first
- Establish CSM (Circulation, Sensation, Motion) checks
- Keep EMT shears, marlin spike, and first aid nearby
- Practice good negotiation before, during, and after
- Set a safe word
- Set up aftercare plans
After 2 hours in rope, take at least a 10-minute break. Blood clots can form in veins. Rope should be at least two fingers loose to maintain circulation and sensation.
Incident Protocol
Emergencies will happen. From panic attacks to fainting—you must be prepared.
Remain calm. Move intentionally and decisively. If injury is suspected, assess quickly.
- For minor issues: basic first aid.
- For serious or unclear issues: seek medical help.
Communicate clearly and calmly with the bottom. Follow up afterward to check their condition and ensure they’re cared for. Review the incident and make adjustments. Share knowledge with the community to promote safety awareness.
Human error is the #1 cause of injury.
Admit you’re fallible. Learn. Don’t work beyond your ability.
Avoid alcohol and other vasodilators. Remember—you’re tying people. People with bodies, circulatory systems, nerves, and emotions.
Shared Responsibility
All partners in all scenes are responsible for safety.
- Make no judgments or comparisons.
- Delete your need to understand everything.
- Drop expectations.
- Don’t do what others are doing.
- Be in your own experience.
- Be present—with embodied awareness.
- Be aware of the present moment, balanced and nonreactive.
- Approach every action with care and thoughtfulness.
Foreseeable Bodily Injury
Long-term trauma – repeated stress builds gradually
Rope burn – caused by fast rope under tension
Bruising/Rope marks – takes at least one day to heal
Repetitive Strain – don’t force positions
Fainting/Falls – due to heat, blood sugar, compression, dehydration
Respiratory distress, dizziness, chills – signs of vasovagal response
Observable and unobservable pain – listen to both
