There’s nothing wrong with wanting free rope. Some people tie for free. Some don’t. Some do both, depending on the situation, their energy, or their intention.
But if you’re seeking a curated, intentional, artistic, risky experience—something designed to hold your body and soul with care—don’t be surprised if that comes with a cost. As @steelnips said:
“If you want something more complicated, artistic, risky, then you have to be someone I regularly tie with.”
One of the hardest truths I’ve faced is that it’s often our own people who expect the most from us… for the least. We say we want community, but we don’t always want to support the labor that makes it possible.
As @MrJayBK noted:
“Black people have devalued my skills more than anyone else.”
That hurts. But it also makes it all the more necessary for us to reimagine how we invest in each other—financially, emotionally, spiritually. Because if we don’t support the folks who are building these spaces, those spaces disappear. And we wonder where they went.
When I do charge for my rope offerings, it’s not because I’m selling something sacred. It’s because I’m preserving it.
That might look like financial compensation.
Or it might be an energetic exchange: offering support, time, collaboration, or care in return.
Not everyone has the same resources—but everyone can give something when there’s genuine reciprocity.
As @uss_soup beautifully put it:
“You don’t pay for church. You give tithes and offerings.”
There’s a powerful difference between paying for something and contributing to the creation of something sacred.
– A wise Domme at a munch
That line has stayed with me. It speaks directly to the quiet but persistent expectation—especially for Black practitioners, femmes, and community educators—that our labor should be free. That we should always give, always educate, always serve, with little offered in return but a thank-you and maybe a photo tag.
But this is labor. This is soul work. This is performance, planning, intention, and spiritual maintenance. If we don’t create boundaries around how our energy is exchanged, we burn out. We disappear.
For me, when it comes to rope, I never want to feel like I’m buying time.
Every time I’ve tied with someone, it’s been mutual. They enjoyed tying me just as much as I enjoyed being tied. That was the exchange. No cash, no invoices—just presence, trust, gratitude. It often felt like hanging out with a friend, just… in rope. A different kind of bonding.
And I still believe in that. In the magic of mutual desire, in energy offered freely and with joy.
But I’ve been sitting with something deeper lately: what happens when rope becomes not just personal expression, but public service? What happens when the intention isn’t just to share space—but to create sanctuary?
Because the truth is, rope isn’t just rope. At least, not the way I practice it. It’s ritual. It’s care. It’s a channel for healing, embodiment, intimacy, and transformation. And that kind of work—emotional, spiritual, physical—takes time, resources, training, energy. It requires clarity, consistency, and deep energetic hygiene. That work isn’t free to sustain.
And still, I hold space for both truths:
What I’ve come to learn—through practice, community, and countless conversations—is that this isn’t really about money. It’s about honor.
It’s always interesting navigating the complexities of pay-for-play in the kink world, especially within the Black community. This is the second time I’ve gotten pushback on my charging for rope sessions, and it’s made me reflect on how I approach this aspect of my practice.
To be clear, my rates are not about valuing or devaluing someone else’s skills or worth—far from it. They reflect the time, effort, and energy I put into creating safe, intentional, and meaningful experiences. But I also recognize that for many, kink is deeply personal, sacred, and rooted in connection, not commerce. I feel that too.
Still, I’m not sure how I feel about the idea that charging automatically makes the experience less genuine. To me, it’s about sustainability. It’s about honoring the energy exchange in ways that feel fair to both sides. That’s why I offer options like fair energetic exchanges—collaborating on content, energy work, rituals, or other projects that align with our shared passions.
I understand the barriers that Black people in kink face—financial, cultural, systemic—and I’m constantly thinking about how to reduce them while also respecting my own boundaries and the labor that goes into this work.
Rope has always been about connection, healing, and transformation for me. It’s not just a “session”; it’s an intentional act, a shared moment, and sometimes even a ritual. Charging doesn’t change that for me, but I get why it might feel different to someone else.
If this resonates or if you have thoughts to share, let’s talk. I’m always open to learning, reflecting, and evolving in this space. Let’s grow together.
Last night, my spark came over with the intention to have fun. When I asked how they’d like to do that, they suggested playing a game. An idea sparked in my mind—a scenario involving an ascension setup with a dildo and vibrator. I began assembling the rig, marveling at how much my spark has grown. Gone is the fear of the unknown; now, they approach these moments with confidence and curiosity.
Even as they saw the rig and knew an ascension was coming, there was no trepidation—just readiness. We’ve reached the stage where resilience is no longer a question but a certainty. This session was designed to further develop that resilience and nurture their focus. I felt a surge of excitement, eager to see how they would integrate the lesson. Time and time again, they’ve surprised me, and tonight promised no less.
With everything set, I explained the rules of the game. A simple roguelike—challenging yet manageable. Each hit in the game would increase the vibrator’s intensity. No permission to cum until granted, and if they died in the game? The chair would be taken away. They locked their eyes on the objective, determined, yet open and ready to receive.
The first hit came quickly, and the vibrator’s intensity rose. A moan escaped their lips, but their focus remained sharp. This was the product of weeks of cultivation, all coming together beautifully. Another hit, another increase, and this time the moan was louder. I smiled, knowing my sadistic hedonism had found a perfect outlet in this training method. Their determination only fueled my enjoyment.
The vibrator shifted to rhythmic patterns—long, short, short—a slow build to ecstasy. The game was getting harder, and I glanced over their shoulder, watching their strategic mind at work. Their choices weren’t optimal but showed promise. Another hit, another moan—this time the vibrator shifted to long-long-pause, a merciless pattern. They adjusted quickly, their training evident in the way they communicated: “My legs are falling asleep, sir.” I asked if they wanted to end or adjust, but their response was steady: “No, sir. Just letting you know, sir.” I couldn’t help but feel proud. Their awareness and communication were impeccable.
The game pushed on, and so did they. Another hit, another moan, the vibrator now on long-short-long. I watched their body resonate with the rhythm, an eye twitch betraying the struggle. Yet, they picked a life-saving treasure in the game—health on level-up. I admired their quick thinking as their avatar rebounded.
Another hit. This time, they grabbed the rope, moaning and screaming as an orgasm wracked their body. “Please, sir, may I cum?” they pleaded. Generously, I granted permission, and they timed it perfectly, leveling up in the game as they came. The energy of their climax was intoxicating, and I drank it in like a vampire. Still, they refocused quickly, selecting their upgrade with determination.
Autumn walked in quietly, her presence like a curious fawn. She tiptoed to the bed, her eyes locked on the scene before her. She knew what she had walked into and settled in to watch, her silent presence stoking the flames of the moment.
The game intensified. The vibrator shifted to rapid-fire mode—short, short, short. My spark began rocking on the dildo, their greed for pleasure evident. Another hit, and they were nearing the boss level. I switched to the rose vibrator, knowing it would be irresistible. They fought to hold back the orgasm, their body trembling with the effort.
“I died!” they exclaimed, and I kicked the chair away with glee. They respawned, only to die and cum again in quick succession. The dildo fell to the floor, dislodged in the chaos, while the rose continued its relentless work. “I won!” they screamed, trembling with the aftershocks. “Get me down!”
I laughed and helped them down, their legs unsteady but their spirit triumphant. Autumn peppered them with questions as I began aftercare, showing them the photos I had taken. They confessed that this scenario had been a fantasy of theirs and that the reality surpassed their imagination. “I felt like I was in an anime,” they said with a blissful smile.
Now, I’m eagerly awaiting their reflections on Friday. Each session brings new growth, and I couldn’t be more proud of the journey we’re on together.
I enjoy mixing sex with games, but adding the predicament and sadism to the mix just amped it up and I am absolutely here for it!
Oh, you’re speaking my language now, Mixing modalities transforms desire and suffering into growth, a ritual of sensuality, pleasure and pain awakens the spirit.
I’ve noticed the changes our scenes have caused already. You’re more aware of your boundaries now. You defend them better. You advocate for them with ease. When we started, you knew no fear. That was admirable, but also dangerous—a blindness to the wisdom fear provides. We must have fear; it gives us information we’d otherwise miss. Fearlessness is not the goal; courage is. To be courageous, you must first know fear. Feel it. Confront it.
I wonder what deadened your fear before. What shock or loss buried it deep? In time, I’m sure I’ll learn, as all truths reveal themselves. For now, we continue this process of awakening. Tonight, we honor the intentions you’ve set for yourself, the path you’ve chosen, no matter how difficult it may be.
Your intention is clear: to stay true to yourself, to walk the path meant for you. My intention is equally resolute—to help you manifest that.
We set the table, laying out the tools one by one. You watch, nervous yet curious, asking questions in a soft, wavering voice: “What’s that for? Are we using that too?” I see you trying to piece it all together, but tonight isn’t about certainty. It’s about trust—trust in your resilience and in the path you’ve chosen. Doubt and hesitation are killers of magick, and we won’t let them take root.
I smile as I move slowly, methodically, setting everything in its place. I see the tie settle into your body, and I feel your nervousness climb to new heights. Life, like a sadist, waits for consent—neutral until given direction and purpose.
When I lay you on the table, I ask for a mantra, a truth you want to make real. Your words are beautiful, full of power, and I tell you to hold them close as we begin. You’re secured now. I ask you to move, and you laugh nervously: “Wow, I really can’t move.”
“You only know the half of it,” I reply, securing my favorite cuffs to ensure your helplessness. Tonight, you must endure.
Small bites along your body tease the reality of your immobility. I let the helplessness settle over you like a weighted blanket. My aura expands, filling the sanctuary, feeding off the pain and pleasure you radiate. I return to the rack and carefully select the next tool.
Your nipples, so sensitive, now house my clamps. A bear claw rakes your flesh, drawing out gasps and shivers. Tucked securely in your bonds, I let the knife skitter across your skin, leaving surface-level nicks and cuts—just enough to imply the danger.
You’re slipping now, retreating into the world we’ve created together. I hear your mantra echo in the space, grounding you as I step through the door you’ve opened. Your subconscious is waiting for me, beautiful and raw.
“Lovely what you’ve done with the place,” I tease, as the ritual begins.
I take the wax and trace the rune we prescribed. Tonight, it’s leadership—a heavy burden, but one you’re ready to bear. The wax drips slowly, deliberately, searing its purpose into your skin. Your screams shift to moans as the heat transforms into acceptance.
You slip further into the trance—not quite as deep as during the Table Challenge, but deeper than before. Your consciousness takes a back seat, and your subconscious takes the wheel, repeating the mantra like a sacred hymn.
By the time we finish, you’re utterly still, the ritual’s purpose etched into your body and soul. I pour the same care into aftercare as I did the scene, cleaning and soothing with precision. We read together, grounding ourselves in the mindset needed for this work—the awareness, the responsibility, the magick.
You’re more receptive tonight, still unfolding from within yourself. That’s okay. Your journals will help guide you until next week, when we’ll take the next step in this journey.
tep into a night of connection, sacred intimacy, and spiritual ascension. This ritual is a journey where every one of you are both a guide and a seeker, contributing to a shared experience.
Throughout the evening, we will sing, chant, dance, and clap, inviting the spirit to take over and flow freely among us. Guided by songs, sound bowls, drums, and flutes, we will weave a symphony of energy and intention.
In the circle, we will hold hands and touch each other, creating a space of loving embrace and connection. Each person stepping forward will be lifted by the collective—by those who have come before and those yet to come.
Each tie is sacred, beginning with the announcement of intention and purpose. The circle will bear witness and hold space, amplifying the energy as one tie flows into the next, creating a continuous cycle of giving and receiving, energy and magick.
This is a sensual, erotic ritual where touch, holding, cuddling, and even kissing are expressions of sacred intimacy. Together, we will create an experience that is rooted in love, and growth.
You may know some of the people in the circle, and others may be new, but by the end of the night, you will leave connected to all. This is a night to embrace vulnerability, open your heart, and immerse yourself in community.
✨ Come with intention. Leave with love.✨
As we come to the close of this gathering, let us take a moment to honor the energy we have shared, the connections we have formed, and the intentions we have set. Each of us has contributed to the collective, weaving a tapestry of love, growth, and transformation.
May the bonds we have created tonight remain with us as a source of strength, grounding, and inspiring. May the energy we have exchanged continue to flow through us, guiding us toward deeper connection with ourselves, each other, and the divine.
Take with you the love and support of this circle, knowing that you are never alone. Together, we have created something powerful and immortal, and that what we started will ripple outward into all that we do.
As we part ways, carry this intimacy in your heart. May you move forward with intention, with love, and with knowing that you are forever connected to this space and to these souls.
May the circle remains unbroken, Ashe. Thank you for being part of this journey