CraigJustCraig

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  • On Separateness

    “The deepest need of man… is to overcome separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness. Or become insane in his isolation… ” — _Erich Fromm_

    To be human is to suffer a awareness of this separateness.
    It is the root of our anxiety, our shame, and our despair.

    The ache of aloneness has only sharpened as we turns our life-force into a commodity.
    Many of us live as **alienated **, numbing the ache of loneliness through strict routine, passive consumption, or superficial pleasures.

    But underneath all that

    We crave fusion.
    We yearn to be seen in our totality.
    We want to know and be known—to experience the “oceanic feeling” of union,
    To dissolve into oneness and, for a moment, transcend the boundaries of self.
    yet we remain unaware of their fundamental desire for unity

    love is the “only answer “. It is “the daring plunge into this experience of union” that transcends thought and words, though knowledge and action
    I notice people trapped in a intellectual struggle. Shouting Order! System! Explain all this!

    This is where we begin.

    This is where we begin.

    We treat love as a decision, a promise, and an active power. it is a revealing, a seeing and holding of space —without control or expectation.

    rope serves as a vessel for this kind of connection.

    In the moment of true fusion—when separateness dissolves—there is no need to act or explain.

  • Another Initiation

    I’m starting another initiate’s initiation, and I’m always trying to write down what I do and say so that I can do and say it better the next time—as well as reflect on what I did and what I said to see how I’ve changed and evolved over time. Or, even better, to see what things come back around. I call this grimoire

    This has been amazing and keeps me returning to myself in my own self-reflection. in a process of continual rebirth and refine

    I’m walking this couple through selecting rope. This time I put emphasis on the actual selection of the rope as a ritual. I asked them to get honest and ask themselves:

    • What do you plan to do with this rope?
    • What intentions would you like to set with the rope?
    • What headspace would you like to go into?
    • What roles will you take?
    • What part of your will becomes suffused into this?
    • And what message would you like to send down the rope for your partner to receive?

    As I’m asking these questions, I realize—this is an initiation.

    I love magic, fantasy, and imagination, and they play such a heavy part in my craft. As I guide this process, I’m intimately aware of how important and powerful myth and mythology are. The beginning, the origin, the source—the seed or initiating principle of development—all of that holds weight. Myth is not just story; it’s a conceptual tool. It’s the foundation of a culture, a philosophical and cosmological explanation for how TF we are.

    This initiation is a template. And within it lives the pattern of the culture I’m weaving: the logic, the assumptions, the formation of values. The language we use, the symbols and icons we adopt—all of it shapes the unconscious experience where all this work is aimed at.

    From this, a ideology is born.

    What people often don’t realize is: your mythology is your ideology.

    And by ideology, I mean the presentation of culture—the lived and embodied experience. The intellectual, emotional, spiritual actions that emerge from the the preconscious structure that gives rise to conscious identity.****

    The process moves from the preconscious (mythoform) to the conscious (mythology) to the self consciousness(ideology). This isn’t hierarchical nor unidirectional
    Every culture has a direction: why we see the world the way we do.
    Every culture has momentum: why we think, and eventually act, the way we do.

    So, as I speak about this initiation, I start seeing it as a blueprint. A quiet yet powerful invocation to be present, to be intentional, to dissolve the barriers that stand between us and connection.

    What we do when we select rope… we are weaving a spell that says: “This is my heart. This is my message. This is my love and my desire. This is my declaration that I wish to become one with you.”

    That is so intimate—to move energy through you and into your partner to create something sacred !!!

    So—I love cults. And before you start—everything’s a cult. Cult culture. Cult mentality. Cult vibes. Anything can be a cult. Some say all cults are bad, others want to debate the definition. But what fascinates me isn’t the fear—it’s the possibility. I love sects. I love schools, clans, guilds. I love doctrines. The structure, the symbolism, the shared belief—it all speaks to me. There is so much power in names. Now I’m in my head thinking, This is your Choosing, in a deep mysterious voice booming from on high.

    I start walking them through color theory and number theory—talking to them about how each color corresponds with a unique frequency, specific intention, a mood, an emotional and spiritual state.

    I tell them: As you shop, enter this quest with companionship, union, synchronicity, harmony, union and synergy. Let this knowledge be your guide.

    Sometimes I really wonder why people listen to me. I can hear myself too and I sound insane—like, batshit insane. But is it insane if it works anyway?

    So I send them on this quest—to align, invoke, and amplify the energy they wish to take on this journey.

    Like, you see what I’m saying…

    White – Purity, power, new beginnings, healing, peace, and enhanced psychic abilities. Amplifies other colors.
    Black – Energetic protection, release, and clearing of negativity. Misunderstood, but deeply potent.
    Blue – Peace, tranquility, spiritual openness, loyalty, and protection.
    Brown – Grounding, mental connection, household harmony, and stability.
    Silver – Balancing and neutralizing chaotic forces. Harmonizes subtle energies.
    Green – Prosperity, abundance, healing, success, and growth. Heals envy and scarcity mindsets.
    Orange – Vitality, motivation, drive, and clarity of purpose.
    Pink – Heart-centered love, emotional vulnerability, compassion, and nurture.
    Purple – Deep wisdom, spiritual insight, independence, and intuition.
    Red – Passion, fertility, strength, boldness, raw life force.
    Yellow – Joy, charisma, confidence, attraction, and energetic action.

    I tell them to communicate—honestly, transparently. You are not a passenger. Your power is in the choosing. seize your power—this is your first test!!! dun dun dun

    Okay, I’m really having fun—but I think it’s so important to have fun. So much of what I offer is fun. It’s healing, it’s erotic, it’s sensual. I see having fun as a shortcut to presence. being present

    Now I’m back in my imagination. I see this scene playing out again—but you must take yarn, and spin it, and dye it, and dry it, and… each step, your layering, building intention and purpose like the longest mindfuck ever. By the time the rope touches you, you are so deeply aligned with your purpose and intention, the rope feels like an extension of your will.

    I built this. I made this. I crafted this. I chose this. I poured myself into this

    Okay, back from la-la land again.

    I tell them to choose 5 hanks, 30ft long. I tell them this is their first tying session. Rope happens before fiber touches skin.

    I had them choose cotton rope. I know many will probably disagree with me, but I think rope should be a progression. You start at copper and work your way to diamond. In my personal case—hemp!!

    But I think the order of progression should be something like:
    cotton → MFP → nylon (also other synthetics) → natural fiber (jute or HEMP!!!)

    Anyway, I’m biased. Because there is a lot that goes unsaid with owning rope:

    • care, maintenance, cleaning, training, conditioning
    • when to retire rope
    • how to re-twist, re-braid, whip it
    • how to inspect rope
    • what characteristics different materials hold
    • what benefits and detriments those materials bring

    And we’re only talking about the physical here.

    When we bring this to a another level, you get into how the rope smells, what oils/minerals/herbs to use, what do those do, how to cleanse, how to ground. And the list goes on and on.

    These are things I talk about—and I think they’re important. I try to only teach others who also find them also important. When someone’s just looking for technique or a basic rope class, I point them toward skilled instructors, structured courses, spaces dedicated to technical craft. Those places teach the mechanics far better than I can. My work is something else.

    That is the foundation of everything I teach.

    Yeah, it’s a rope class—but it’s a rope class like Hogwarts is a wand class. If that makes sense. (It does to me.)

    I teach more than rope. I teach the art of deep intentional connection. I teach alignment. I teach presence. I teach intimacy—and not the silly kind of intimacy grounded in sex.

    We once knew how to speak heart to heart, soul to sou. It was instinct. But, we’ve lost it. We’ve traded it for convenience, control, and the illusion of safety.
    Now, we chase intimacy without risk. We crave pleasure without investment. We want closeness without vulnerability. We fear the possibility of disappointment. Yet yearn for belonging.

    What I offer isn’t just rope. It’s a to return to self, a return to breath, a return to stillness, and a way out for that thing clawing at your chest that keeps pulling you back here.

    I’m building and teaching a philosophy that helps people tap into that.

    This is so much more than rope.

    Which brings me to the next aspect of what I’ve learned, and what I’ve seen—and what I now warn people against as an interruption to this process:

    Be patient.

    Be patient toward yourself. Be patient with your progress. Be patient with each other. And, Love every step of the way.

    When I say love, I mean get off. NUT. Orgasm. Make it as sexually, mentally, and spiritually satisfying. Every. Single. Time. Every. Single. Step. Truly edge yourself to your own becoming. Have you ever heard of orgasmic meditation essentially the idea is to gradually increase the size and place of pleasure zone in and around body and adopt new pleasurable sensations using the malleablity of your nervous system. With conscience expansion its possible to take this one step further into shapeshifting your emotions your experiences, and your perspective.

    I write all the time about uncovering my own conditioning around sex, roles, goals, purpose, drive, mission, stance, values, self, love, and power.

    We perpetuate a lot of bullshit that doesn’t serve you. Not only does it not serve you, it doesn’t serve anyone you wish to .

    You are meant to have agency.
    You are meant to have choice.
    You are meant to live as one with each other—and with your environment.
    Not in a fucking box. unconnected consciousness isolated time place and circumstance an abstraction for intellectual investigation
    alienate, locked into lower order spatial temporal dimensions. That crazy.

    You are meant to have friends, neighbors, parents, lovers, tribe, village, community.
    Not this fucking scam.

    You are meant to be here with us—in the cult. You are meant to derive your own conclusions, to merge your consciousness into a great collective and wash away the filth.

    You should be taking time to have rituals and ceremonies and spectacle and epiphanies and orgasms, again and again.

    You are meant to notice the contradictions in this all.

  • Romance, Brought to You by Late-Stage Capitalism: Fromm, Freud, and the Marketplace

    Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving critiques several prevailing—yet deeply flawed—conceptions of love in contemporary Western society, often presenting them in a satirical or critical light by contrasting them with the idea of genuine love.

    He argues that these modern understandings actually represent a “disintegration of love.”

    He writes:

    “No objective observer of our Western life can doubt that love is rare, and that its place is taken by a number of forms of pseudo-love, which are in reality are many forms of the disintegration of love.”

    He says we often treat love like a commodity, focusing only on two things: being loved and being lovable

    This leads men to chase success, power, and wealth, while women cultivate attractiveness. But these are STRATEGIES!!!!!! (I’m going to write about strategies one day)

    Fromm sharply points out how capitalism has influences our character:

    The owner of capital can buy labor and command it.
    The owner of labor must sell it or starve.

    He says this mindset is tied to the idea that finding love is simple—that the hard part is finding the right OBJECT
    He argues our entire culture is built on capitalism, and our idea of love follows it. We emphasize the importance of the OBJECT against the importance of the function. Our culture revolves around mutually favorable exchange.

    Happiness?
    Fromm says it lies in the thrill of looking for the best and buying all that you can afford. In dating, this translates to a neatly packaged “attractive” set of qualities sought after on the personality market. And what makes a person attractive? That depends entirely on the fashion of the time both physically and mentally.

    In the 20s, a drinking, smoking, tough, and sexy woman was attractive.
    Today? The fashion demands domestic coyness.
    At the turn of the 20th century, a man had to be aggressive and ambitious.
    Today? Social and tolerant.

    But either way, the sense of “falling in love” is just people feeling like they’ve found the best object available on the market, given the limitations of their own exchange value.

    We’re out here marketing ourselves. And the OBJECT must be desirable, socially valuable, complete with hidden assets and future potential.

    This was written in 1956. My grandmother was 4. My grandfather was 6. And yet it feels like he could have written this yesterday. We’re still following the same tired pattern of exchange that governs the commodity and labor market—and we’re still calling it love.

    Then Fromm drags another contradiction:
    The idea that love is just a spontaneous feeling or an “irresistible emotion,” especially when it’s mixed with sexual attraction. He says this mindset completely neglects the importance of WILL.

    Love, he insists, is a decision, a judgment, a promise.
    If love were only a feeling, then loving someone forever would be impossible.
    The only forever is an ACT.

    Love is an act of will. A commitment.
    And fundamentally? It does not matter to who.

    Let me bring up another contradiction that caught me:
    Fromm breaks down different kinds of love—Love of God, Mother, Father, Brother, Erotic Love.

    What stopped me in my tracks was his take on Mother Love vs Father Love:

    • Mother Love is unconditional love. Love for the helpless.
    • Father Love is earned. Conditional. Merit-based.

    He even shows this in how religious systems reflect it.
    Matriarchal religion? That’s Mother Love: all-protective, all-enveloping, unconditional. We are all equal before Mother Earth.
    Patriarchal religion? Father Love: making demands, setting rules, establishing laws.

    Then he speaks on Brotherly Love—love among equals. He writes:

    “If I love my brother, I love all my brothers; if I love my child, I love all my children; no, beyond that, I love all children.”

    Each kind of love is different, but by their very nature, they aren’t meant to be limited to one person.

    Erotic love, though? That’s the craving for complete fusion with ONE other person. It’s exclusive—not universal. Why?

    Fromm directly challenges the belief that love is just the byproduct of sexual pleasure. He says just because two people learn to sexually satisfy each other doesn’t mean they love each other. Sexual desire is often mistaken for love. People think they love someone when really, they just want other.

    But fusion isn’t just physical.
    He says love is not the result of good sex—what we’re really seeking is relief from the painful tension and anxiety of separateness.

    Without love, physical union never leads to true connection. It remains orgiastic and transitory, leaving two people “as far apart as they were before.” So we keep chasing the high with a new person. A new stranger. Over and over again. Because closeness, like novelty, fades.

    Yo!!! Like… are you feeling that in your chest too?
    I damn near cried.

    Then Fromm goes in on Freud. Freud claimed:

    “Man, having found that genital love offered him his greatest gratification, made it the central point of his life.”

    That idea was revolutionary in the 1890s—but Fromm calls it conformist. It completely misses the mystical essence of love: the root of intense union with another person—the feeling of fusion, of oneness—the “oceanic feeling.”(im definitely going to write about the oceanic feeling or the sea of orgasmic bliss)

    To Freud, love was irrational. And the thinkers of the time?
    They were busy trying to prove capitalism matched the natural state of man:

    • That we are naturally competitive, insatiable, hostile.
    • That we’re driven by limitless desire for sexual conquest.
    • And that only society prevents us from going full feral. ( and they have the nerve to call anyone savage)

    So love, hate, ambition, jealousy?
    Freud chalked them all up to variations of the sexual instinct.

    Sound familiar?
    I’ve been trying to tell y’all—you only think the way you think because you live here, and some old fuck told you to.
    This brings me back to Yurugu (which I will write about one day).

    Freud didn’t see that the key to understanding life is not the body, or hunger, or sex, or possessions—it’s the totality of human existence. That’s a very Eastern thought, one that echoes in the Tao and ATR.

    Fromm ties this all together and says:

    Our character (in capitalism) is shaped by the need to exchange, to barter, to consume.
    Everything—material and spiritual—becomes an object of exchange.

    We are automatons with personality packages who have forgotten how to love. We seek security in the herd—and in not being different: not in thought, not in feeling, not in action. Everyone tries to remain as same as possible while remaining utterly alone—racked by insecurity, anxiety, and guilt.

    Our palliatives? A strict routine of bureaucratized, mechanical work—where you remain unaware of your desires, unaware of transcendence, unaware of unity. You overcome your unconscious despair with the routine of amusement, passive consumption, and the hollow satisfaction of buying new things—then exchanging them for others. You are sedated, compliant, obedient—and you like it. Hoping for a fair bargain.

    This shows up nowhere more clearly than in marriage—a union structured like a corporate team.

    In the Victorian age and in many other cultures: love was not a spontaneous personal experience that might lead to marriage. Marriage was contracted by convention, and love was expected to follow after the paperwork was signed. This is the background of what we call marriage: a contract to exchange objects.

    The ideal partner is well-functioning employee: independent, cooperative, and tolerant, and yet ambitious, and aggressive. Intimacy is but as a refuge from unbearable loneliness. We enhance “collaboration,” by adjusting our behaviors for mutual satisfaction, pooling common interests, and teaming up against a hostile world.

    But this, Fromm argues, is pseudo-love.

    It’s the disintegration of love. True love, he says, is an art—one that requires discipline, concentration, patience, care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge.

    And it is completely incompatible with the consumerist, market-driven, alienated society we live in.

  • This Shit Is a Scam 

    I was rereading though my notes again this morning and talking with Goddess Dior, and somewhere in the middle , I got _fucking mad_. Not just irritated—_PISSED_. Because I realized, once again, like a slap in the face: this shit is a scam.

    Let me be clear—what I’m talking about is _individualism_. This lie we’ve all been told. This pretty little illusion . This fantasy that tells you you’re “free” because you have options. That you’re “authentic” because you picked a different brand or have your own flavor of trauma.

    _you’re not free_. You’re _standardized_. Capitalism could not function if you were.

    “It needs you who feel free and independent, not subject to any authority or principle or conscience—yet willing to be commanded, to do the expected , to fit into the machine without friction; to be guided without force, led without leaders, prompted without aim…”

    That’s the shit right there ….

    We’ve been _tricked_. _Coaxed_. Hoodwicked. _Beguiled_. _Threatened_. Even _killed_ for not conforming. To further concentrate capital, they hollowed us out and called it _progress_.

    And what do we have left?

    We wear a mask of individuality while living lives designed by some old fuck, managed by a cuck, and approved by some bitch. We are taught to _cooperate_, to _be nice_, to _not cause problems_, to _not stand up or out_—all for the sake of hive efficiency and marketability.

    We are so desperate to belong that we _mistake tolerance for intimacy_.

    We search endlessly for resonance, for something _real_, for a heartbeat in the noise—
    but all we find are more distractions.

    Bro this shit pisses me off:
    This isn’t love. This isn’t freedom. This isn’t connection. This is fucking sedation.

    We are automatons with personality packages, cogs with bios. We have forgotten our own fire. Forgotten each other. Forgotten the goddamn _way_.

    We live by the clock. Our joy is scheduled. Our rebellion is approved. We soothe our aches with passive consumption—just numbing out. Our “individuality” is curated in bulk. Our prayers are shallow—_grant me success_, _make me visible_, _help me win_. But no one prays for the truth. No one prays for love. No one prays to feel _real_ .

    We are being sold the fuck show while being trained to obey without question, to chase without purpose, to function without feeling. And we’re doing it with a smile.

    yo, this sucks to write.
    Im looking deeper cause this cant be it.
    where is the heartbeat beneath all this.
    _We are not meant to do this alone._

    We are meant to _resonate_. To _feel_. To Hurt. To Heal. To burn all this debris.
    To _see the humanity_ in one another—not the label, not the party, not the gender or skin or role—but the raw, terrifying, beautiful _shit underneath.

    **Fuck the machine. start connecting. Choose yourself and choose us to. _For the wild ones. The broken-hearted . The rebels. Those who remember._

    See you at the gallows.

  • What Are We Really Talking About?

    I had a conversation with someone raised religious who said they were exploring spirituality. But as they spoke, I realized they were describing practices more aligned with Pagan traditions than “spiritual.”

    It reminded me how important it is to name what we’re actually talking about.

    To me, faith is trust. Spirituality is making sense of our spirit, our place, and our purpose. and Religion is when that search gets organized: into stories, symbols, and systems.

    Without clarity, we end up speaking in circles, and not connecting.

  • What is Remembered, is Restored

    In a recent session, we focused on decompression and fascia release.

    In a world that trains us to split, divide, and dominate,
    this work moves us gently: allowing tension to soften and giving space for something deeper to emerge.

    An undoing of all the ways we’ve been trained, controlled, and fragmented.

    This is woven into our everyday experience. It lives in the body, pressed into the breath, curled around the spine, locked into the tissues. Unintegrated it becomes part of us.

    We are taught this is normal; to see the world in split pieces. Strong vs weak. Good vs bad. Mind vs body. Spirit vs reason. These splits are reinforced again and again, until the natural unity of self is broken and compete. This shapes our behavior. It shapes our beliefs, our imagination, and our body itself.

    In rope, we begin to reverse the fragmentation. We invite the Self to slow.
    That slowing creates an opening to shift.

    Seekers come to this work carrying chronic pain and a long history of discomfort, often managed through medication, endurance, and bracing.

    They’ve learned to survive it.

    But, many experience significant relief even after the first session. The pain doesn’t vanish: it moves, shifts, softens.

    With each session, The pain lessens.
    And slowly, the body begins to feel like home again.
    This kind of healing moves beyond treating symptoms. It invites the body to participate in its own restoration. Through intentional effort, we help the body learn safety from the inside.

    Rope offers a return, a experience, felt beyond the skin. The body is fully present. And within that learns that safety is possible. That holding does not have to hurt. That surrender can be healing. That rest is spiritual.

    The goal is not to conquer or control. It is to listen, and to reconnect with what’s been split. To allow meaning again, not another problem to solve, but a story to be told.

    When we treat with rope, we step out of logic. We return to knowing—that knowledge comes from immersion, and not distance.

    This is sacred .

  • Rise Above “Should”

    We’ve been trained to look at ourselves through harsh lens
    To beat ourselves , measure our worth,
    for knowing better, doing more, being better,
    That’s not truth.

    rise above the tyranny
    When we change because we `should` ,
    We reacting. Not choosing

    Forged in a addiction to guilt.

    When we act in fear, shame, or obligation,
    Those actions are not ours—
    Those reactions, are survival, not choice.

    But you were not born to react, and survive.
    You were meant to thrive

    Ask:
    What feeling is underneath?
    What need? What longing?

    Growth is not born of hatred.
    Change does not come from punishment.
    You are not here to suffer.
    You are here to grow.
    To love.
    To be fulfilled.

    Think of:
    Every “have to.”
    Every “must.”
    Every “should.”
    Then whisper
    “I choose . Or I release.”

    Take power back
    Take anger back.
    Take choice back

    Take the lies that feed them.
    Its all your, and it always was.
    Serve you better,

    Let your words reveal choice, release your chains.
    Let your actions be rooted in love, growth, or freedom
    In love, not guilt.

    Rise above obligation.
    Transcend the manipulation of guilt.
    To fully feel. To freely need .
    To be real, and follow truth..

  • Overlooked four fundamental truths:

    Restoring relationships and community is central to restoring well-being;

    language gives us the power to change reality

    we have the ability to regulate our own physiology through basic activities such as breathing, moving, and touching;

    we can change conditions to create environments to feel safe and thrive.

  • Connection Is the Cure

    Our culture encourages us to focus on uniqueness, but on a deeper level, we are barely separate individuals. We are wired for connection. Community is central to our well-being.

    When we ignore this quintessential truth, we separates ourselves from community and alienates yourself from yourself. Not isolation, but connection—

    In group, we find resonance and meaning through ritual we shift states, reorganize perception, and increase capacity with presence and empathy.

  • I was talking to a goddess

    She didn’t speak in words, but in heat, in breath, in the ache behind my ribs:
    “You are not responsible for their feelings.”

    …I used to believe otherwise.

    I shackled my worth to people’s moods, contorted myself into someone else’s idea.
    I made myself small.
    I apologized for existing.
    The fear of abandonment, of rejection, of being too much and not enough at the same time.
    Boy, what a time.

    Then came the revolt.

    I told myself I didn’t care.
    I wore detachment like armor.
    If I couldn’t please them—fuck them.
    I became loud with boundaries and quiet with vulnerability.
    But I wasn’t free.
    I was still ruled—by them.

    Then came a knowing:
    That I can hold space without setting myself aflame.
    That my needs matter.
    And that theirs did too.

    I was not taught this.
    I was taught to blame—either myself or them.
    I was taught to focus on them and to lose myself.
    I’ve learned: feelings are not caused by others, but shaped by how we receive them—filtered through our own needs and expectations.
    Now, my work is to OWN that.

    This is hard to learn.
    Trauma trained me to see everything and everyone as dangerous.
    I forgot how to play.
    I forgot how to imagine.
    But my body remembered, even when my mind forgot.
    And shame clung deep.

    But pleasure is not sin.

    So I began to ask myself:
    What makes me feel good?
    Can I ask—clearly—for what I want?
    Can I speak in a language that is not vague or coded in shame?

    Instead of “Don’t ignore me,”
    I would say, “Would you be willing to check in?”

    Instead of “You don’t care,”
    I would say, “I feel lonely and need connection.”

    This is power.

    I wasn’t given these tools—I had to make them.
    Walking around yearning, yet terrified to feel it.

    Risk, with clarity.

    For the child in me who never learned.
    For the adult in me who is still learning.
    Knowing it’s safe to say:

    I don’t know where I’m going.
    But I promise: I know the way.